Thursday, March 10, 2011

In memoriam: Camera dies in epic bear attack

SPECIAL REPORT - The Sidewalk Chic camera, a Canon Powershot and budding landscape portrait prodigy, died suddenly Monday morning from complications of a short fall near a lake an epic bear attack. It was five months old.

A memorial service will be held Thursday morning and a burial will take place in the Kitchen Junk Drawer, a well-respected camera and technology graveyard. In lieu of flowers, its owner asks for respect that outfit photos will be postponed until a worthy replacement can be found during this difficult time, or the duration of this weekend.

The camera, revered for its focal zoom and multi-functional settings, saw many outdoor adventures, where it was often commissioned for sartorial, landscape and still-life photos. It was in the process of an outfit photoshoot, pictured above, at the time of its death.

"His work had a leg to stand on," said Vista Explorer, a tripod who was a trusted colleague of the Powershot. "He breathed stunts and photography, man. He was always ready to dangle over lakes and bridges with me, and would deliver beautiful results. Without him, my work has no purpose."

"I'm getting a little nostalgic," said Memory Card, another colleague of Powershot. "They always say to take a picture, because it will last longer. Thanks for the moments and mega pixels, dear pal."

In its short lifetime, the camera became known for its mastery of detail in capturing various locations, including beaches, railroads, parking decks and cotton fields. It was also familiar with ducks.

"Yeah, I'm pretty bummed," said JoAnn, Sidewalk Chic blogger and owner of the Powershot. "Who would have thought a two-foot tumble in the sand would have killed it? Talk about going out with a whimper, rather than a bang. I think I'll just tell people it got attacked by a bear. At least that's got a little dignity."

Powershot is survived by 3,438 photos.
"I suppose you could say I'm having an existential crisis," Vista Explorer tripod said of Powershot's impact. "I guess I'll go back to freelancing as an easel and spending weekends in three-legged races."

"It's a little inconvenient timing, what with the nice weather and all," JoAnn said of the camera's death. "If an outfit isn't blogged, did it really happen? I suppose I'll have to watch a sunset this weekend and actually just enjoy it."

Outfit details:
Dress: In Roads, vintage, thrifted; 
Sweater: Banana Republic, thrifted;
Shoes: Zigi Soho;
Bracelet: vintage, gift from sister. 


  1. Haha, this is awesome!!!! I just found your blog through the fashionable academics post.

  2. Um, I should probably also say that I'm sorry to hear about your camera, eek, how rude of me!!! But you distracted me from your pain with your hilarity.


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